“The Ferris Bueller Timeline Problem” has been discussed for many years: we all know that one couldn’t possibly pack in as many events in a single school day as Ferris, Cameron, and Sloane pull off in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

However, thanks to the intuition of anonymous internet chatroom nerds, we can now grasp onto this: “The Ferris Bueller Fight Club Theory.” Ferris Bueller is Cameron’s Tyler Durden; Sloane is the girl Cameron secretly loves.  Ferris might not have been able to pack in a Cubs game, a trip up the Sears Tower, an expensive lunch, a parade, a trip to an art museum, swimming, and a clarinet jam-session in a single day, but Cameron could have — in his imagination: