Top Five Dick Moves by Steve Jobs

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

Steve Jobs

I teach high school students, and when Steve Jobs passed away last week, all of them were devastated.

“Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg are like, gods,” one of my students assured me. “No, they’re like, amazing. We owe them everything.” A few of my students even changed their BBM thumbnails to screenshots of Apple.com’s now-ubiquitous homepage, and their BBM statuses to “RIP Steve Jobs.” When was the last time a CEO’s death made high school students thoroughly upset? Oh, right — it hasn’t happened ever, until now.

Anyways, I’m not trying to shit on a dude who just died a week ago, but did you know that Steve Jobs wasn’t actually that nice of a human? I’d rather not break my students’ big thumping hearts, but it’s true.  Here’s a list of the sketchiest things Steve Jobs did while he was alive!

1. When Jobs returned to Apple in 1997, he shut down all of the company’s philanthropic programs “temporarily”… but never reopened them.

2. Jobs had his daughter Lisa out of wedlock when he was 23 years old. and then, for two years, tried to deny he was the father, claiming he was both sterile and infertile.

3. “You’ve tarnished Apple’s reputation,” Jobs told an Apple team who had been working on updating MobileMe. “You should hate each other for having let each other down.”

4. Jobs banned the iPhone from downloading applications that feature gay art, gay travel guides, political cartoons, and other things considered “morally suspect.”

5. HE IS MEAN TO PEOPLE IN WHEELCHAIRS.  -Christina Drill

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