Summit Entertainment
116 min., dir. by Bill Condon, with Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner

The time has finally come: the schlocky, teen beat series of emo vampires and antisocial werewolves reaches the end of its film cycle with The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2. A fairly boring experience peppered with moments of sublime idiocy, topped off with more dismemberments than Jefferey Dahmer’s birthday party, the second installment of Breaking Dawn doesn’t stray far from its proven formula. However, if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that this film will be lauded by the series’ fans as a sparkling triumph.

Finally a vampire herself, Bella is showing tremendous growth in her new lifestyle. After only three short days of getting used to her new thirsts and powers, she’s ready to finally meet her little girl, Renesmee. Growing at a rapid rate, little Renesmee beings to show that she harbors special abilities, yet she has a beating heart, unlike her parents. When one of the Cullens’ cousins comes to visit the family, she believes little Renesmee is a child vampire.

Infant vampires are outlawed by the governing body of bloodsuckers, the Volturi. Unable to control their emotions, infant vamps turn temper tantrums into wild killing sprees. Their existence is a threat that can unearth the secret world of vampires, and therefore, they have to be dispatched. Tipped off that Resnemee may be an immortal child, the Volturi aim to take care of business and kill the child – and anyone who stands in their way. Hoping to convince others that Renesmee has a beating, mortal heart, the Cullens also transverse the Earth, gathering people who will testify for the little Blade-like child. The Volturi see things differently, though, and are prepared to fight the small army they believe the Cullens’ are recruiting.

I have a suggestion for even the most devout hater of Twilight: go out right now and buy a ticket to see Breaking Dawn – Part 2 on opening weekend. Not because it’s a good movie — but rather because bearing witness to the reactionary screams and cheers of the diehard fans is so wildly entertaining, it makes the entire trip worth it. The film itself kicks right off with its practically deliberate cheesiness as Bella tackles a mountain lion for a morning drink, or yells at Jacob for nicknaming her child after the Loch Ness monster. Things only get weirder when the cadre of international friends the Cullens visit sport tragically stereotypical personas so offensive even Hitler would say, “Come on guys — really?” Though the film may be hilariously laughable, it’s the crowd participation that really forms a unique experience.

Near the end of the film, a beloved main character catches the awful end of a bitter battle. The screeching madness that emanated from the back of the theater sounded as if someone were being murdered. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 is still a miserable work of faulty story lines and cornball characters, but being front and center for the glorious wave of giddy madness of Twilight fans is once-in-a-lifetime experience that I highly suggest being part of.

I’m amazed this film, even with little amounts of blood, received a PG-13 rating. I almost have the desire to see the film again, just to count the number of body parts that are ripped off throughout its duration. The underlining notion that Jacob and everyone else knows he will eventually have a sexual relationship with Bella and Edward’s infant child is awkwardly sick and mind-numbing. This is a story aimed at teens, isn’t it? Normally I’d praise a film for tackling taboo ideals, but Twilight seems to not even understand its twisted nature, and only looks to exploit it when it can.

The flawed plot, nonsensical characters, and backwards nature of this film directs all arrows to point at the word “horrid.” Still, this is the one and only time I can recall where I would urge everyone to buy a ticket and enjoy the ride. If you walk past your local movie theater and see a gaggle of frenzied women chattering and taking pictures of themselves in front of cardboard cutouts, do yourself a favor and snatch up a ticket and join the circus – you won’t regret it.

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Matthew Schuchman is the founder and film critic of Movie Reviews From Gene Shalit’s Moustache (http://shalitsstache.com) and the contributing film writer forIPaintMyMind(http://ipaintmymind.org).