Former porn star Aurora Snow has published an interesting letter to her as-of-yet unborn son, and it offers some insight into the psyche of a former porn actress, as well as explaining some of the incentives — and trappings — of the industry.

On entering the nude modeling profession in 2000:
“I had no shame and needed the money. I knew for certain that I never wanted a family of my own. It was an age before everyone and everything was online, and I truly felt I could hide it from my mom, dad, and brothers. What did I have to lose?”

On her family discovering her secret profession:
“Your great grandma was the first to discover your mom’s secret profession (she saw me on a VHS tape at her friend’s house), and she quickly informed your grandma and uncles. While they were disappointed with my choices, they never stopped loving me and stuck by me regardless.”

On realizing she wanted her own family:
” I felt something powerful happen inside of me as one of my nephews put his arms around me, trusting me with his life and giving me his unconditional love. Suddenly I realized, ‘Oh crap, I want a family of my own.'”

On regret and decision-making:
“If I’d known I’d one day change my mind and want a family of my own, I would have made completely different choices…So remember when you’re making big choices in life, think far into the future and ask yourself, ‘can I live with that?'”

Snow isn’t the first former porn actress to address the shift from making to XXX films to motherhood — Asia Carrera has discussed her role as a mother, made increasingly difficult by the fact that she has been widowed since 2006.

To read Aurora Snow’s entire letter to her unborn son, click here.