Imagine a severely intoxicated young woman trying to sing along to Rancid’s “Ruby Soho.”  With a cigarette in her hand and a smile on her face, she stumbles toward you yelling an exaggerated impersonation of Tim Armstrong. She yells part of the verse as you catch her: “Two lovers… a bedroom… na na na nahhhh… [insert punk rock articulation].”

That’s how Gretchen Seichrist, ie, “Patches & Gretchen,” sounds. Not just intoxicated — Gretchen almost sounds like she making fun of the drunk, overly-stylized, yell/grunt vocal style that so many punk bands adopt.

Instead of imposing my opinion of the album Sugar Head Pie by Patches & Gretchen, I’ll paint you a picture of what to expect from its title track. Acoustic guitar, bass, and banjo immediately grab your attention with a well done instrumental build up. Fifteen seconds into the song, Gretchen starts meandering the lyrics: “Well, orange, strawberry, and banana/I think I’m gonna ride out to Montana/Don’t they have something out there they call ‘the range?’/There must be a hat or some other funny thing /Won’t you come and play ‘Sugar Head Pie’?”

Do they have a “hat or some other funny thing” in Montana? You tell me, Gretchen. I imagine they probably do have hats in Montana. As for your invitation to “Come and play ‘Sugar Head Pie,’” I have no idea what you are talking about.

If there is a main lyrical theme in the album, it has evaded me entirely. The only reoccurring subject is “Indians,” although, I’m pretty sure she means Native Americans judging by her constant use of stereotypical imagery. Throughout the album she sings lines like, “We could dress up and ride the buffalo.” In “Everything is Indian,” a sitar plays while the lyrics are clearly about Native Americans (she mentions “corn,” “tobacco,” and a “Cherokee jeep”). Has Gretchen’s hallucinogenic trip mixed our world with the time of Christopher Columbus? I’ll probably never know, but should you wish try and solve this mystery, pick up a copy of Sugar Head Pie.

(Sandpaper Tongue Records, no address provided)