Lionsgate
100 min., dir. by Jessica Westfeldt, with Maya Rudolph, Adam Scott, and Kristen Wiig

Everyone I have spoken to seems to think Friends with Kids is Kristen Wiig’s follow-up to Bridesmaids. Written, directed by, and starring Jessica Westfeldt, Friends With Kids only features your Bridesmaids favorites as background characters. Taking the no-strings-attached friendship idea a step further, Friends With Kids is mind-bogglingly pedantic in its storytelling and short on actual laughs.

Jason (Adam Scott) and Julie (Westfeldt) are the best of friends. They’ve known each other since college, live in the same building, have the same friends, and share the same interests. Most would think they should be together — they always say they love each other, but simply do not feel attracted to one another. Both want to be a parent and feel they’re at the right age for it, but neither has a long-term partner and they’re both morbidly affected by how they see their friends’ marriages deteriorating after they have children. Therefore, they concoct the perfect plan: they’ll birth a child together, share custody, and continue to date others, beating the system while being the greatest parents in the world.

Even for a comedy, this is the most inane garbage I have ever heard. Setting the moronic situation aside, a deaf, dumb, and blind person could tell you the plot points and outcome. This is literally a “friends with benefits” situation, with a kid thrown in, and a lot less sex.

Most egregious of all the offensive bits of this film is filling it with popular actors and comedians, only to have them do practically nothing. It feels obvious that Westfeldt just called in favors from friends and her husband (John Hamm) to drum up interest from moviegoers, rather than fleshing out a proper screenplay with actual wit and diversity. The only one who has really anything worth laughing at is Chris O’Dowd. I’m a big fan of O’Dowd and his BBC series, “The IT Crowd,” but he’s the least recognizable of the whole cast, while his attempt at an American accent is very odd.

There is a shining light, however. Adam Scott, who plays Jason, started his career as a dramatic actor, but has largely been seen in comedic roles over the last few years. Yes, his breezy sarcastic delivery is in full swing here, but the film actually allows him to flex his dramatic muscles a bit more and he really delivers the goods.  I have no hesitation in saying that if he were not a part of this movie that the entire thing would be worthless.

Friends with Kids tries to pass itself off as a fresh experience starring all your favorite TV actors-turned-movie stars, when all it really does is churn out the most familiar plot line in recent years with a poorly thought-out twist.

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Matthew Schuchman is the founder and film critic of Movie Reviews From Gene Shalit’s Moustache and also the contributing film writer for IPaintMyMind.