Originally published in Verbicide issue #7

Gorsky Press, 200 pages, paperback, $12.00

For years, Rich Mackin has been writing letters to corporations. Not just any letters, mind you, but the most side-splittingly humorous letters imaginable. As the legend goes, Rich wrote a simple letter to M&M’s Candy asking what the “M’s” stand for, and the rest is history. Over the years, Rich has published 16 zines containing these letters (aka “Consumer Defense Corporate Poetry”) titled Book of Letters. How appropriate that a best-of book be released, without the words “book” or “letters” anywhere in the title.

What is most enjoyable about the letters (and haikus, and limericks) that Rich sends to the corporations are that they laugh-out-loud funny without being obnoxious pranks (just in case you are under the impression that this is the work of a literary Tom Green). His letters, no matter how ridiculous, are always impressed upon the reader as the product with someone with a lot of intelligence. Sort of in a Gary Larson kind of way, I guess.

In regards to Swiss Miss “Pie Lovers” pudding cups. Rich suggests that pie lovers would rather eat pie, and their energy would be best put towards focusing on pudding lovers. McDonald’s receives a letter from Rich that questions, “where’s the haggis?” as “McDonald” is conspicuously a Scottish name. And, in perhaps my favorite Mackin letter of all time, he writes to Tupperware, noting that small, household pets are often buried in these containers, and continues as such: “Tupperware is a quality, durable, waterproof container meant to keep organic matter. Isn’t that what a coffin is? I think I can safely guess that Tupperware does not manufacture a casket-like container, but I am interested in finding out what I would need to do to have an approximately 2’x3’x6’ Tupperware container. I am currently in my late-20s, and lead a healthy lifestyle, so hopefully I am no immediate need for this, but would appreciate any information you could provide.” Though this is among the letters from which Mackin receives no reply, many of the hundreds of letters contained in the book were replied to, and each reply is included—completely unedited, like Rich’s letters.

Also featured are the numerous letters written over the years written to Lever 2000, begging for an explanation of their claim that the soap will clean “all of your body’s 2000 parts,” and several essays excerpted from his columns in Suburban Home, Flipside, and Razorcake.

This book is recommended to anyone looking for a laugh. I can guarantee that you’ve probably never read anything quite like this.