Originally published in Verbicide issue #6

I have this thing about emo bands: I despise them. I utterly utterly despise them. I want to go to emo shows and bodyslam the singers and hunt down Rivers Cuomo and administer a brainbuster on him for making it popular to be a whiny dork.

Now that those reactionary statements are out of the way, right from the get-go of Billy Music’s Midwest Index, “Another Point of View,” I thought about that wimp from Dashboard Confessional — you know, that Luke Perry/Jason Priestly hybrid, Mr. Montgomery Sideburns: “Well great, you’ve ruined my night once again/I’ll save this ruined hour long enough just because/You must realize we’re not the same/It’s another point of view.” Can’t you just hear the emotionally charged chicks sitting around a bunch of candles bohemian style and singing the words to this post-modern histrionic poetry? Can’t you just hear the wussy’s muffled cries in his pillow about his ex-girlfriend?

I truly wanted to smash this album into kingdom come, but the next song, “Stereofoam,” emitted from the speakers, and I surrendered my attention to the tight weaves of both clean and distorted guitar; it had almost a Jimmy Eat World catchiness. Okay, so I’ll admit it: I liked half of the album, for it’s easily distinguishable in two categories: ema (for emasculate) and emo (the catchy stuff). And I readily admit to adoring the catchy stuff; the wimpy music is definitely for the ladies who keep Kleenex tissues in business. One piece stands out the most, though: “Etude,” which makes its appearance in the middle of the album. It’s a contemplative instrumental that evokes sad yet simultaneously warm memories, making for wonderful late-night driving excursions.

(Law of Inertia, 61 E. 8th St. #125, New York, NY 10003 )