God-King Jeremy is the current ruler of the planet.  After wiping out Earth’s defenses, he set to work reorganizing the world’s social, political, information, and entertainment infrastructures, only to discover that they didn’t need much changing to encourage a culture of human slavery.  He is cruel, petty, greedy, and devoid of basic morality. In his spare time he answers questions and gives advice.  Ask Jeremy at formspring.me/godkingjeremy

When it’s just us, my best friend and I are totally in tune and have a great time. But when we’re hanging out with other people, she’s constantly making fun of me. Where is this different treatment coming from, and how do I address it?
The answer is so obvious that she is right to make fun of you. Your main problem is that you have a female human as your best friend. Sex her thoroughly and you’ll find that the other problems go away on their own.

Are simple pleasures really the best?
I can not publicly advocate sex with the mentally handicapped. But, to answer your question, yes.

Where do you like to go for vacation?
I’m a bit of a workaholic so I like to go to any beach city, call up a few of my favorite cats, shave them, fill a motel pool with rubbing alcohol and just drink until I black out. Am I saying that human word right? Workaholic?

Why do birds suddenly appear?
You probably smell like female birds. Stop fucking female birds.

What is your favorite food?
You don’t have it on Earth. It’s a small, scaled rodent with a yellow tongue, much like your Karl Rove. Speaking of which, BRING ME KARL ROVE!!!!

Do you have a type? I’m a Maine Coon cat with a little more to love, and I’m very attracted to you.
I regulate every breed of that ass.